Effortless Stoicism

So many of us live reactively. A relationship ends, turmoil arises. A fortuitous event occurs, happiness arises. A close friend passes away, misery arises. Humans have lost their way.

Is it possible to live another way? Yes, it is possible, but it requires a journey, and it is not a journey for the faint of heart. The one who truly wishes for a non-reactive existence must examine all of the assumptions on which they base their life. They must rid themselves of all the false notions that are the secret causes of their misery. There is a cost to this. They will not feel as though they are shedding mere ideas—they will feel as though they are destroying parts of themselves.

This is one of the problems that afflicts many humans, though without their knowledge: they make ideas a part of their identity. If we truly examine, we can see that a person is not their beliefs any more than they are the mathematical equations that they picked up in school, and it is no different for their emotions. But it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like removing our beliefs and our emotions is removing a part of ourselves, and so we avoid it. We cling to them, and therefore remain blind to reality. By clinging to them, we ensure our suffering. So yes, there is a way, but it is not for those that are merely curious—it is for those who have no choice.

Effortless stoicism does not come when you have control of your emotions, but when you no longer need it. Attempting to change your emotions will lead to the same discomfort you are trying to flee. Emotions change like the wind, and have only as much significance as we assign them. If we cease to assign significance to our emotions, they cease to be significant. Stoicism comes first by not reacting to the emotions that arise within you. It is only then that one develops the perspective necessary to observe the causes of these emotions.

Approaching stoicism by way of a method is an attempt to override your default way of being, and as such it is destined to fail. A permanent change cannot be reached in this way. Stoicism is a natural byproduct of wisdom, which does not come by way of effort. Just as it requires no effort to have an emotional reaction, it requires no effort to remain unemotional.

Effortless stoicism will come when you have dismantled everything in your mind that produces reactions. Your reactions come from the way you understand the world. Change your understanding, and the reactions will change of their own accord. A simple, but powerful, heuristic: illusions result in emotion, truth results in equanimity. Rid yourself of illusions, and you will rid yourself of all unwanted emotions.

The great lie at the center of all emotional reactions is that the world has something of value to offer you. Nothing will satisfy you forever, and nothing will grant you permanent happiness. By allowing the events of your life to make you happy, you give them the power to make you miserable as well. When you are indifferent to your circumstances, they will not have the power to cause reactions. Why might you become indifferent? Because nothing lasts. Happiness is soon replaced by misery, and misery by happiness. Everything is fleeting.

The truth is that all reactions are unfounded and unjustified. By justifying your reactions, you only prevent yourself from overcoming them. Reactions are prompted by desires, and these desires do not hold up under scrutiny. Man’s mistake is to believe that his pain is created when his desires go unfulfilled, but it is the wanting that creates the pain. Only when you ask nothing of the world can you be truly free.